The one thing I love about Christian Bale is the one thing that has made him infamous. His passion for his art. He gets so wrapped in it. Yet he was so underrated as an actor. The one thing I had read about him was in Movie Maker Magazine when I read at how he picked his scripts was based on the Director. If the Director showed the same amount of passion for the craft, than he would work for them.
I have a passion for my craft. It is something I love. Writing is a passion. This isn't something that you pretend to know what you are doing. Eventually someone will call you out. I know with all the work I have put into Witch's Slaughter, it also has been a soul sucking pain in my ass. Not because of the script, but because of the main reason...I know a few people know about Witch's Slaughter, but honestly-my friend made it a point last night about writing with someone versus doing all the work.
Last year about this time-I was juggling my own depression, raising a baby and writing...granted it wasn't a great combination because my horrible emotional state was fucked. Yet, when dealing with Chris and listening to his mellow drama -I tried to help with my minor advice. Then it became this role of adviser to him when I thought about how he was writing. At first, he had Amy as his co-writer and yet they went through a lot of mellow drama.
When I moved to California, he still was having mellow drama with Amy, but then I heard how he had undertook another co-writer. Yet...of course I really didn't know the truth...!! I was not aware!! From April to August...was 5-months. I managed to get some writing done, managed my depression a little better and moved 2000-miles away. Okay, so shit had happened in my life. And back to the script-there was still drama about it. Here I was still offering advice and reading off his page about how he was working on this kick ass scene.
Okay, so my daughter's birthday came and gone...and I went through some problems at the Manhattan House...like the water getting shut off because they didn't pay their fucking bill!! Here I was...like great!! Okay...October rolls in. It has been 2-months. Still there is a lot of drama attached to this script. No one is helping Chris and blah...blah...blah. I felt that was pretty fucked up. Here he was talking about how he was doing all the work and no one was doing anything.
Again...he bullshitted his way into making me believe he had passion for his art. Bullshitted!!! Of course I didn't really didn't see it at the time. Hear I am giving advice, I mean heartfelt advice. Then he asked me the one question that pulls on heart string of anyone that has passion. "Can you help me?" Of course, I was out in town and I agreed to do it. Granted...with all the shit he complained about...his computer went down...he hand written notes, he was a history buff, he was researching through teenie booper witch books, and telling me all this stuff.... telling everyone on Facebook.
Well I told him to send me what he had. A whole day past...and still nothing. Finally I got something and it was only one scene in an outline format. I was pissed. I told him I was going to give him 30-days of my time. Yet...I found myself stressed out. I was constantly yelling at him about giving me something. This was suppose to be his baby. He complained that no one was doing anything and yet...I got nothing. Finally after 45-days....I got a measely 30-pages. Granted...at first I was giving advice...tell I realized that I shouldn't be giving anymore advice when he should have been writing.
He then asked a friend to help as an editor who loved writing. Even she was shocked about the adolescent cheesy way it sounded. This is something you are presenting. It is suppose to be part of you. All the characters sounded flat and like kids. Here he was suppose to be a history buff. When I was trying to make sense of the bad...well horrible writing. He was already planning another...like manner idea. With a High Priest and some evil force. It was played and tired. Again...he was like begging me to work with him and at the same time...I already felt this shit was horrible....not because the original concept wasn't bad but because...you have to force someone to write.
Which brings back to several people had told me. If you have to force someone to produce their own script they are bragging about...it means they lack passion and love. Not only the fear of your own success. But the fact is that you need to write this script. It's your idea...I don't care if someone gives you advise...friends giving you ideas...it is your choice to use that information.. They aren't co-writers. Yeah, you can be a doll and give them credit in your movie....if you are filming it your damn self!!
So here I was, in a position that I finished a rough...I mean rough draft...first draft. Yet there was a lot of open plot holes that just was not feeling it. Of course I was plagued with excuse after excuse...after excuse....if I gave him more time. Motherfucker Please!! You had 7-months of bullshitting!! Hell I had my outline completed for Rejection!! I was working on Surreal, but I wasn't feeling it!! I wrote 2-children's manuscripts.....a few poems....a short story and a fucking commissioned script...before he finished giving me his shit. Seriously!!?? I even had Rejection completed...my first draft!!
PASSION!!!
LOVE!!!
Do what makes you happy!!
Don't wake up one day and decide that just because you wrote some shit in High School...that makes you a writer. Writers can spot another writer!! It is the way we communicate...the way we can transform our words to make you see it....feel it. There is no miscommunication when and if you are a writer. We know the difference when we are able to read a sentence to tell if a word belongs or read it several times.
I know I have been through a lot and for me...writing is a sense of where I am in my life. If I am happy, then writing is awesome!! If I am going through shit...I don't write...I do outlines. Okay, so maybe I am writing. The point is...I write. I don't need someone to tell me to write. I don't need some one to force something out of me. Yet I am not going to bullshit my friends into thinking I am doing all this work when I am not.
YOU ARE A LIAR!!
You are lying to your audience. Yes, when it comes down to co-writing-you need to produce something, but when you have someone that in reality doesn't produce quality...you end up with cheesy shit. I will say the original concept of Eva as a witch...was far fetched...and how she gets brought back...was cheesy as shit. But if she got brought back accidentally...because the Nazi's believed in the Elder spirits....again...I am no history buff...but I researched!! I read...I watched movies!!
I started to get very angry!! I have a temper!! I have raved and ranted about the shit that was going down in my life. I have a temper!! But what is worse than immature drama bullshit...is immature drama bullshit dealing with something closer to my heart than anything else...WRITING!! Telling a story is something precious to me. Don't fuck with me in that regards. YOU WILL PISS ME OFF BEYOND ANYTHING!!
Last night, I had a really good conversations with 2-people in this industry. One actually researched Chris...and thought we was together because he couldn't believe that all he did was thank everyone for working for him with this giant ego. I had to burst his bubble when I told him that no...I was not and was doing it as a favor to a friend...and at the same time to get my name out there.
Of course Chris had made me believe that he had all these connections and he was going to sell his script. Then he started talking to all these actress about starring in it, which made me believe he was filming it. I was confused. If you can speak...you can write. If you can formulate a sentence in a conversation, then you can write. That is a basic concept. Not difficult!! You can't go wrong if you formulate a sentence.
I had seen 7-months go by and reality was...nothing was done. I got a first draft done...in 30-days. Granted I wanted to kill him. His writing style....well let's put it this way...there was none!! I wanted to pull my eyes out. I let Gustavo read the 30-pages and he wanted to kill him. I let him read the first 20-pages of what I did....and he was happy. Granted...I wasn't feeling it. But I finished it.
Of course in January...I lived in a hell house. February...I was homeless in so many regards. So writing was not on my mind...a bunch of outlines were great. Yet...I finally get to move into this lace I am at now. And I finish draft 2. On draft 3....I was able to make it tighter. For me it isn't tight enough. I wanted a second opinion. Better yet, I wanted someone to give me their opinion. I already got one...and they loved the idea...after I wrote it.
I gave my word...and my word is my bond. I love writing. I do what makes me happy, but when some one makes me feel used...it is something....that pisses me off. Anybody else...would have been pissed off. That they agreed to writing something...and there was nothing written. You had 7-months. Shit, even have 60-pages. I don't care if it the entire script in word!! Yet...you ask for help. Yes, you will get my respect that you had 60-pages. But don't come back...and wonder why...some one is pissed off.
Yes, I will get mad if you don't know the difference between pike and spike, or the word unawares....yes that is a word. I will loose my temper...and don't be shocked if I rip you a new asshole. I am not someone that is here in this business to be Yoda. I am in this business to showcase my talent.
Irenia Guajardo
~Hellz Writer~
